How to network effectively

Nearly all of my property wealth has come from networking of some sort.

A broker I knew from one event pointed me to two profitable properties. I bought another property off a friend I met at a business networking club. In fact I can only think of one deal that didn’t have some form of networking as it’s reason for success. However, it’s not just deals: many of my professionals who help me (like solicitors, brokers and accountants) have been referred to me as well.

But I’ll be blunt. As excellent and profitable as networking is, most people are either

a) afraid of it, or

b) they suck at it.

• Most investors won’t go to a networking event.
• Of those that do, more than half will talk with their friends or never get past the “Hi” phase.
• Of those that go, and meet new people, and even collect contact details or business cards, VERY few will ever follow that conversation up into something that translates into money.

Here are my suggestions for quickly becoming good in a networking or social situation. Use these tips and you’ll greatly increase your profitable network.

Conversation Hacks

There are lots of definitions for the word “hack,” but my favorite is “productivity shortcut.” Computer students at MIT in the 1960s coined the term to mean an unorthodox way to solve a computer problem.

“Conversation hacks” are in the great hack tradition. They help you master social situations where you might be nervous or tongue-tied.

Conversation hacks are great for company parties where you have to make small talk with your boss or your boss’s boss. They help you get through the conversation at events where you hardly know anyone or where you’re new to the group and not sure of yourself yet.

The objective in all of these conversation hacks is to get the other person talking. Listening is less stressful for you, and gives you time to think about your contribution.

Let’s start with something you can say when you’re introduced to someone new at a social gathering.

When You Meet Someone

Everybody asks the other person what they do or where they work. People who think they’re clever ask “What’s your sign?” or use a similar cliché.

You can be creative and get conversation going by asking: “How did you come to be here today?”

The beauty of the question is that it generates long answers that tell you a lot about the other person without you having to say much. It’s asking the other person for their story. People love telling their own story.

Sometimes the other person will ask for clarification. They might ask, “Where do you want me to start?” or “What do you want to know?”

Whatever they ask, give them the maximum flexibility. Tell them they can start where they want. Tell them to share whatever they want.

“How did you come to be here today?” is a great opening question because it gives people freedom to talk about what they like to talk about. Here’s another good question for when you meet someone.

“What’s the most interesting thing in your life right now?” lets people talk about what’s important to them and do it at length. Most people have got something they’d just love you to ask them about. With this question, you don’t even need to know what it is.

When You’re Asked a Question

At social functions other people ask you questions for two reasons. They want to know the answer. Or they want to see if you know the answer.

If you know the answer, and you’re sure it’s safe to share, let it out. When you’re done, flip the conversational ball to another person with “Does that help?”

If you don’t know the answer, the safest course is “I don’t know, but.” Then you can tell how you can find the answer, or mention that you know someone who may know the answer. “What do you think?” is a good question to let the other person pick up the conversation.

Questions are about facts. You either know the answer or you don’t. Pretending to know is usually not a good idea.

When You’re asked for Your Opinion

Questions about your opinion can be trickier than questions about facts. If you’re in an unfamiliar group, or if you don’t know how the powers in the group think, the best thing to do is play for time.

If you think it will work, a good choice is “I really haven’t given that a lot of thought” or “I haven’t made up my mind yet.” Follow either of those up with, “What do you think?”

If you’ve given the matter some thought, but you don’t want to risk sharing an opinion, try “It depends.” Follow that up with things that should be considered in coming to a judgment.

“It depends” lets you show some knowledge of the subject without committing to a final conclusion. You can send the conversational ball back to you partner by asking if you’ve missed anything or by asking for their opinion.

When another Person Makes a Statement

Many times the person you’re with keeps on talking and that’s just fine with you. Here are two easy conversational hacks that you can use to encourage another person to keep talking.

“That’s interesting” is a great phrase because it shows your interest and encourages your partner to keep going at the same time. You can change the word “interesting” to “fascinating” or “amazing” or even “scary” or “exciting” for variety.

One of the most powerful conversational hacks I know is, “Oh, really?” When your conversational partner slows down, just say, “Oh, really?” It’s like hitting a “continue” button. Your partner will probably say something like “Yes,” and then pick right up where he or she left off.

When you find yourself in a new or intimidating group, there’s no requirement for you to be a brilliant conversationalist in the traditional way. Just use these conversational hacks to keep the conversation going around you while you take it all in.